addendum to previous post and other wedding-related issues

dan says i get really amped up about certain issues and all the useless rules the catholic church has imposed on weddings seems to be my chosen "amped upper" these days. here is my latest beef with them: i attended a wedding today and my friend, edwin and i noticed how weirdly overaged the coin and ring bearer were. these were kids who were at least 12 years old (though they looked 14) and were way past the age to be considered cute. i didn't get it. adolescents carrying a heart-shaped cushion with rings and coins just looked very awkward and very wrong. shouldn't there be an age limit for these things? apparently, some churches seem to think the opposite. you cannot join the wedding entourage unless you've had your first communion. next thing you know, they're going to require flower girls to present their marriage certificates, too. which brings me to my next point.

now this i can't blame the church for. i don't know who started it or where it started, but apparently, there is this new addition to the wedding entourage called the "little bride." everyone had already seen it at least once before but today was my first time and i'm not sure if i've gotten over it quite yet. the "little bride" is a little girl that is dressed exactly like the bride. that's it. she has no other duties but to look like a mini version of the bride. this was very disturbing to me as it conjured up images of 80s (and way before that, too) iran, afghanistan, etc where parents were marrying their daughters at a really young age and there were 9-year old brides all over the place. the ridiculousness and tackiness of this whole concept was compounded by the fact that the little bride i saw today wasn't very little anymore. i can kind of (kind of) see how adorable it would be to see a little 3 or 4-year old running around in a white gown and veil but this one looked even older than the ring and coin bearer. protacio, who made the bride's gown divulged that the little bride's measurements were bigger than the bride's. of course the bride didn't look like she'd gained a pound from when she used to be a model at 14 but still...

speaking of models, the bride was a model, the groom was a model, the bridesmaids were all models. it was like sposabella (a bridal fashion show) or some shoot for wedding essentials. thank God for the few oversized ones in the entourage that were thrown into the mix. they made the thing look more real. i am happy for the newly-weds because their kids are never going to be fat or midgets but how is the average appearance of the world's population supposed to improve when attractive people will only reproduce with their kind? share the wealth.

on a less cynical note, i bawled at the pretty couple's wedding today, but it wasn't my fault. the groom started it. i never used to be affected by weddings. all my friends would get kilig (giggly is the best translation i can come up with) while i would sit and beg for the whole thing to be over so i can get to the reception* and eat already. today was different. my friend, ana, says that it's not mental but just biological. as a girl (or a woman, if you will), you reach a certain age... i can't even make myself finish the sentence. i am officially a marrying age. best wishes to all my friends getting hitched soon, but man, are you guys not freaked out? i'm freaked out FOR you. good luck with that.

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* receptions are called such because it is when the bride** and groom*** receive their guests. why do we do it the other way around? the guests always sit around waiting for an announcement asking them to stand up and applaud the newly-weds about to enter the room? more wedding planners should read "miss manners"
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** and *** did you know that you are only supposed to say "best wishes" to the bride? "congratulations" are only meant to be said to the groom